Decisions, Decisions...

Saturday, August 7, 2010

I now have my laptop up and running thanks to my very sweet IT guru friend (and his beautiful "not" girlfriend). Thanks you two! :)

These two are the cutest couple you've ever seen. I don't want to get too much into their private life, but it's definitely had me contemplating (and probably giving way TOO much advice on) following one's heart. Through everything that has happened this month, I've finally given 100% to trusting my instincts. They've never steered me wrong. I have been steered very wrong by bishops, by well-meaning friends and coworkers. I've not listened to those who know me best, because I didn't like what they had to say... that's no good reason to not listen!

Here is my theory on how to gain true happiness.

A) Listen to your gut. It will never steer you wrong! Some people call it intuition, spirit, or just a gut feeling. You know when something doesn't feel right. LISTEN to that feeling. Our core can hear and see so much more clearly than our flawed eyes and ears can. We get muddled, wrapped up in emotions and thoughts, but our core, our gut can clear out the fog and help us know what's right.

B) Always listen to advice... but always take it with a grain of salt. What I mean is, ask yourself these questions. 1. Who is giving the advice? Their position in your life determines the weight at which you place their advice (best friend over nosy neighbor...) 2. How has their advice done in the past? Does your mom always advise based on her feelings and not yours? Is your BFF always giving the WRONG advice? 3. Have they experienced something similar to your dilemma? Are they truly informed/experienced or are they giving anecdotal advice? 4. When you ponder on that advice, how does it make you feel? What does your gut say?

C) After you make a decision, bad or good, right or wrong... evaluate it! Learn from it! Did you really listen to your gut? Who's advice did you follow? Did you ask for that trusted advice from the right person? Pull out that journal and write down your decision process, the feelings, the good and bad, and the outcome. What did you NOT do, what will you do differently next time? Then next time that big decision comes up... you can pull out your own advice! You can listen to someone who knows you best!

Who am I to give you this advice though? Of course you're taking this with a grain of salt right? Right? Good. Because I am not an expert. Just someone who has lived through consequence after consequence of my own bad decisions. I am not an expert in making good choices... but I am an expert in learning from the bad ones!

And because of how I am, I feel the need to tell others what I've learned. We need others who've done it to help us, we need to help others going through it, because teaching is the best way to learn.


Honey said...

You are a dear and wonderful woman who is strong, tallented and beautiful. You can do everything you put your mind to.
I do not have the words to explain my feelings but I shall try to do so.
I love, respect, admire, and adore you. You are the Hero in my life. You are giving me something that no other person could ever give. And I'm not just talking about our little Daemon. you give me love, kindness, understanding, joy, and the list goes on so long I can't name all the emotional healing you do for me. Magical wands be damned. I'm sorry I haven't been up to see you as often as I would like, but we are in the final stages of getting everything ready for our home visit, so that the sate of Utah will say we are fit parents.
I love you more than anyone could ever know.
call me, text me, and tell me all. I'm here to listen, i'm here to support, I'm just here, even if I can't physically show up, i'll show up.
Love you.

Beckstreet said...

I love the sarcasm in the first paragraph. The "not" girlfriend. Riiiiight. You make me laugh Toni :)

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