Black and Blue

Sunday, February 20, 2011

Have you ever felt like you're fighting yourself? Like every choice, every motivation, every want or need is questioned through the process?

I'm definitely treating myself to the Spanish Inquisition lately. It's a bit wearing, but there is method to my madness. The choices I've made and the direction of my life the last few years was decidedly not what I wanted. I let myself go along with other choices. I let myself be swayed by others. I formed some really bad habits, and some of them desperately need to be broken.

But I've been finding out some lovely things about myself as well. And instead of beating myself up for the stupid things I've done, I've decided I want to list some of the wonderful things I'm discovering. I need a bit of a boost today.

I am strong. Stronger than I ever thought possible.
I am beautiful.
I am honest. Sometimes too much so.
I am deep.
I am intelligent.
I am kind.
I am passionate.

I haven't let myself be these things in a long time. I am enjoying forming myself outside of a relationship. I'm 8 months out from the end of my marriage. That's crazy to me. This summer it'll be a year of self-discovery. Sort of like a mid-mid-life crisis... I love it.

Also, 26 is scaring the HELL out of me for some reason. I like 25 much better. At least I have another 8 months til that happens!

Dashed lines

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Well I only got one reply on the hair... but I think I'll keep it in my hair style rotation. I wore it today in fact! They looked amazing with my cute vintage-looking shoes I got last week...

<3 them!

 Well the crazy agent training at work went really well. It was nice to meet all our sales agents and start forming the relationship I'll need with them in the coming years. If I ever officially get the proposal coordinator position, I'll be working with them a lot. They were such nice guys, and it was crazy/hectic/fun running the events with Cindy.

Pretty much I'm enjoying my whole life. It's amazing how when you're settled, and content... that lift starts to just fall into place for you. When I say content I don't mean stagnant... I continue wondering, wanting, seeking and reaching. But I'm content within myself... happy with who I am. I'm having fun discovering things about me, and finding happiness in the little things.

I have some amazing friends... my heart is whole and happy. I have done some amazing things with my life, and I can't wait to see what's coming up for me tomorrow. This is going to be an amazing year, I can feel it in my bones.

Come along for the ride?


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

I'm still trying to figure out my life. It's a slow process. I start going down one path, then I  question myself... why am I doing this? Is it because it's easy? Fast? What I really want?

Let's just say I keep ending up back where I was before. Well, I guess I am slogging through and making progress. Two steps forward, one step back.

Anyway, I've been loving some very vintage and retro styles lately, and since I'm at a complete loss for what my style is, I've decided to add a bit of rockabilly flair into the mix. And that means bright red lipstick (HOT!) and victory rolls.

After watching several youtube videos on victory rolls, I think I'm getting pretty good at them. Totally War Era Awesomeness.

Below are some pics of the hair. Let me know what you think. Is this hairstyle a keeper? I think so... :)