Then and Now.

Monday, May 16, 2011

Daemon is 6 months old. How crazy is that? It seems like just weeks ago he was new and squirmy. The world was different 6 months ago. How can so much change in so little time? I used to think that babies defied time. They grew so fast they were mocking it. Now I really think they embody time. They show us how much really does change in a day, a week, a month, a year. So much we hardly notice. We see it in our children, because it's a physical manifestation... but in ourselves it's so much more subtle.

6 months ago I had just had a baby. I was tired and sore... relieved and exhausted. My room was my mom's living room, shared with my daughter. I wasn't very happy with my situation, but understood the need to be taken care of... to be in a home. I was being taken care of by the most amazing women, most especially my mother, and Briana, my dear midwife...

I was single, a few months out from the end of my marriage. I felt like I was on the cusp of a new life, and I remember impatience to see it come to fruition.

Today my body is back to normal (minus quite a bit of weight) I am tired and sore from planting flowers at my house. My home. Just me and Bekah, living in our own house... independent and loving it. My mom's house is back to normal. My mom still takes care of me, but my world has a hole in it where Briana was. I miss her.

I'm in a relationship with an amazing man, who loves me, truly and completely. What more could I ask for there?

My life has started... and every day I'm trying more and more to be present in the moment. To live for today, and not in yesterday. I have this bright future ahead of me... but more important is the now. Right this moment? I am so very, completely, utterly happy.